Refraction

I used to draw these flip books in grade school when I was supposed to be paying attention. They mostly consisted of stick men doing 720° spinning hook kicks, fighting with swords and doing somersaults. If you’ve read my other blog posts, I bet you could’ve guessed that.

Then I got glasses in the 5th grade and was able to see the world around me well enough to actually participate in it. Immediately, I started doing better in school. But while my new-found studiousness gave my identity a self-efficacy boost, people started treating me differently because of my nerd specs. Same kid… just now with some metal frames housing Coke bottle-thick lenses on his face…hmm.

It’s weird how something so insignificant can change the way people perceive you. At this moment I realized that sometimes you just have to go your own way, whether your friends or peers like it or not. I felt proud of my scholastic achievements. But for some reason it was at the expense of the identity I had up until that point.

It’s a poor metaphor, but doing original shows with my band is akin to me defiantly wearing my glasses so that I could excel in school. Some people would rather I not play my own songs at all. They’d rather me continue to play silly rap songs, being vulgar in the corner of sports bars, diminished in a sea of flat screen TVs. They’d rather that I not stretch my potential, fighting through the awkward phase that is me getting my real career off the ground.

Too bad. I’m going to do it anyway. I know better. Experience has told me so.

Adam Pitts and the Pseudo Cowboys. November 30th @ Deep South the Bar – Raleigh, NC 9pm. $5 cover. 21 and up.

Be there if you know who I really am.